Forget long-distance affairs, nervous breakdowns, call-the-police-scenes, Lola Beltran borrachera. I have found true love at last. I am a mother.

My daughter was born two Tuesdays ago after 34(yes, 34) hours of arduous labor. During this life-changing experience, I learned to appreciate my best friend and my daughter’s father, the Original Kings of Comedy, hot showers, ice chips, bodily functions, drugs, a rose-scented rosary, the power of the body, the strength of the heart and soul, my own mother, the medical team at the hospital where I birthed, Gabriel Iglesias and all Latino comedians, myself, and of course, my companion of nine months and new lifetime soulmate, my beautiful firstborn child.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. I respect those of you who choose to not parent for whatever reasons. But everyone else, I guarantee it will be the one challenge you would take on a million times over just to gaze into the eyes of your beloved for that magical first time.