Tag Archive | #nopenottoday

The spoils

Apr11

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“The river of addiction flows

You think it’s hot, but there won’t be no water

When the fire blows…” Pop Life by Prince

 

So you win

Again

you break rules and people’s trust

yet you’re never sorry

but you’re the sorriest excuse

you’re an insult

to the profession

There won’t ever be a confession

but we have our suspicions

we know you ain’t got inhibitions

you stay the object of our derision. 

Make the right decision

get your sorry self out the way

you only stay

to make us pay.

Day after day

you play a role

But you don’t fool us.

This time you got one over

and that’s not right

 

So you win

again

never accountable

never responsible

never willing to accept or reflect

You stay lying to yourself

and those obliged to listen

but you’re the sorriest excuse

you’re a disgrace

I stopped being able to look you in the face

You’re lucky I didn’t catch a case

and let hands do what mind has pondered

too much energy was squandered

trying to get you to step up

or step away

but we won’t play.

This time you got one over

But you won’t ever be right

In the mind or in your life.

 

You won

but tick tock tick tock

we will run out the clock.

If I were you I would take stock

and start planning my retreat.

The universe won’t be beat

You best get right

Or you might finally

Lose.

 

Worst foe

Mar25

“I been movin’ calm, don’t start no trouble with me

Tryna keep it peaceful is a struggle for me” by Aubrey Drake Graham

 

To all the fake traitorous former friends in my life and those of my loved ones:  You tried it!

 

Let go when a friendship falls apart

Can’t let it hurt your heart

Most friends who turn out to be false aren’t worth grieving

 

I gave you my time, my energy

I cared for you like I cared for my best friends or for my family

You played me

This is how you paid me

You betrayed me

How am I supposed to feel sympathy for your stupidity?

I have no pity left  

I don’t care about the hours spent giving you advice through conversations, through phone calls, through text messages

I care about myself which is what I should have been doing instead of looking out for your fool self.

Go lose yourself in your addictions, your questionable relationships, your time wasting

You need help, not my health.

I will pray for you but I won’t speak to you.

You took.

You damaged.

You go.

I will be tempted to be vengeful but I know that is not me. That is my anger against you. I refuse to give in to it.  

I have wasted enough of myself on you.

I will leave you in peace and I expect you to do the same.

Don’t speak on me

Don’t speak to me.

Do not come for me.

 

An enemy is an enemy

but a friend turned enemy is the worst kind of foe.

Please go or I will have to let you know.

That’s a side of me I don’t want to show.

I know better now

I know who you are

You’re not going to get far if this is how you do those that show you love

Now go on.  Go do you.

Let the universe handle you

ides_of_march 02

those damn Ides of March 

Betrayal

From Dangerous Liaisons

Declining the invite

May16

invite.pngA week ago, I received an invite to the Red Wedding. I’m still feeling some kind of way about it.  I am a recent convert to Game of Thrones. We are nearly done with Season 4.  I watched the infamous Red Wedding episode over two weeks ago and I’m still recovering from the trauma of the experience. I cried so much, more than I remember doing in a long time.  Anyway, I was sent a message that on the surface seems like a goodwill gesture. If I didn’t know any better, I might think it’s a peace offering. I know good and well it’s not an olive branch unless it’s one with a pointy end for stabbing me.

RooseBoltonChainmail_zps363b2108The Red Wedding represents the ultimate betrayal of trust. If you are invited to the Red Wedding, you’re being bamboozled into a trap.

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I’m not going to accept this invitation. I’ve looked at it. I’ve read it. I thought to myself this is some Game of Thrones ish. This message was strategic. The sender has a history of saying one thing and doing another. This individual has given me good reason to not trust their words, whether spoken or written.  I may be cynical but I read the message as an attempt to get me to trust again.  Nope not today.  I don’t want to hear “The Rains of Castamere.” If you hear this song playing, you best get out and quickly.

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I will admit I felt somewhat vindicated by the message. There was some attempt at making peace. I have already reflected on my history with rattlesnake in pocket syndrome(The plague on all our houses), on channeling my inner mongoose (A fearless favorite,) and giving myself permission to go into Ivan Drago mode. I won’t be duped again. I’m a person of patience and compassion but my eyes are open. I will pray for those who have hurt me. Jesus is going to be the strongest fence that ever was. I will smile and be polite. I know who you are. No Red Wedding for me, no gracias.