Archives

Seatbelt fastened

Jun5
“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” Margo Channing in All about Eve



My latest IGM flare-up has been an emotional roller coaster. After my initial worry and the subsequent sense of acceptance, I began to experience anger. It began as a slow simmer while at work.  By the time I came home from this week’s biopsy, I was livid.  I was angry at the physical pain. I was angry at my body and its apparent ongoing weakness.  Mostly, I was angry at the behavior of certain individuals who conduct themselves with negativity, rudeness, and disrespect on a daily basis; I straight up questioned why they are well. I even said I could punch a specific person.
If Rambo hadn’t been present, I might have thrown a few things.  But those moments pass.
Then there was the waiting. It has been so hectic at work that I haven’t had the time to dwell on the possibilities. Once that call came through (of course it had to happen at work), there was the relief.  I am still cancer free.  But I still have an infection so the journey to healing continues. 
Faith is a must as I handle living with a chronic illness. One of my samba sisters had issued a Bible verse challenge nearly a week ago, a day after I discovered the lump. Every day I have shared a Bible verse on social media. These particular verses inspire hope in me while I reflect on my personal experiences. It has been a practice that has helped me focus on the positive.
One of the positives was meeting my new specialist. My previous specialist, known as the local expert of IGM, retired. Fortunately, I was able to get a Tuesday afternoon appointment after my Friday morning call. I rescheduled due to having the biopsy to Friday afternoon, always a good day to get good news. He is of the opinion that the infection I have is simply that and is not necessarily a flare-up. He did not recommend an additional round of antibiotics and is confident we can avoid invasive procedures this summer. He also said I could resume exercise so long as I stay aware of discomfort and pain.

My health may present occasional challenges but la vida continua(life goes on.) I had already planned to have my gall bladder removed in a few weeks so that will happen(see previous blog at http://mujerevolving.blogspot.com/2015/03/an-old-friend-resurfaces.html.) June is full of M’s dance performances.  Carnaval with SambaFunk continues through various celebrations. As I was once told by King Theo, healing is mine! 

An old friend resurfaces

Mar15

At one point in my life, I seriously considered becoming a lay member of a monastic community.  I wanted to leave the world of work and personal life, if only seasonally, and focus on contemplation, prayer, and learning more about my faith. Inspired by poet and author Kathleen Norris, I specifically explored how I might become a Benedictine oblate.  Many events and people drew me away from this plan; however, some of what I learned sustained me through life’s challenges. How wonderful to know that Saint Benedict will be rejoining my daily litany.

Saint Benedict, apart from being a founding father of Western monasticism, is also the patron saint of gall bladder disease and inflammatory disease.  Two birds with one stone, pun absolutely intended.  
One of the stories told about him is that some of the monks, newly introduced to him and his Rule, decided to rebel and attempted to poison him during Mass. Benedict survived because the chalice broke and a raven stole the bread before Communion.  

The surgery I will have in the summer is elective; in the words of my new surgeon,  I’m “not on fire.” Still it is reassuring to know that I can literally call on Saint Benedict.