“Be still and know that I am God.”Psalm 46:10

It is one of my favorite verses and one of my favorite songs.  One morning, I sat in silence to speak to God from my heart. With my job search officially beginning, the question I’m pondering the most is one most working parents face. How do I strike a balance between moving on in my professional growth and being present for my child?  Unlike the adults in my life, my child is not excited about my search for a new challenge. It has actually caused her anxiety, sadness, and fear. She worries that this could be another challenge for us.

I want my next career move to enrich our lives. I know that idea may seem naive; as you move on in leadership and take on greater responsibilities, you take on more duties which take more time, energy, and thought. I want to be a good mom, to make time for my writing, deepen my faith life, and be physically fit.  Now I have to prioritize and rethink how my goals will be affected by a change in employment. It’s exciting and worrisome.

I’m giving it over to God. It is what we are called to do when the struggle is the greatest. As someone who worked to become an independent free thinker, relinquishing power and authority is a struggle. I spent so much of my life being passive; I still have room for growth. I have been blessed by trusting in God. My prayer is for God to guide me towards a new job that will be good for M and my family. I want to serve my purpose.

In silence, I notice what I usually don’t during my commute: the trees, the clouds, and the sky. These are beautiful signs of spring. I’m so busy running around that I’ve missed them most of the time. I’ve missed so much of what’s around me because of what’s happening within me. I want my next opportunity to allow me to enjoy more of these moments. I look forward to landing where I need to be.