The hottest mess yet

The SF Chronicle calls it “possibly the best reality show…ever.” VH1 has done it again, bringing together some of the most memorable contestants from previous hits, The Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Rock of Love. 17 past participants gathered in beautiful beachfront Mexico to compete for a quarter of a million dollars–and lots of VH1 dating show drama/high jinks.

So who’s in the house this time? There are bimbos of both genders: 12 Pack and Heat, New York’s party boys, catty Playboy Playmate Megan from RoL 2, and Brandi C from ROL 1. There are annoying attitudes from Chance, ILNY 1 also-ran, Pumkin, New York’s spitting foe from FoL 1, and Midget Mac, once a likable underdog on ILNY and now just a little guy with too much anger. You do have some likable folks like Real, Hoopz, and Rodeo. And every reality house needs a weirdo; Mr. Boston is sure to keep us laughing with his overblown come-hither advances on the girls and self-deluded cockiness(“I brought 5 condoms and I intend to use them with a different chick”). The cast will compete in Survivor-like team challenges and live with one another with what promises to be disastrous results.

You can’t bring this many chiseled abs, impressive implants, and personality quirks into a house and expect these folks, already semi-famous for trying to hook up on national TV, to strategize without so much as a wink at someone cute. No, the sexual tension is already running high. White Boy, captain of the Green team, is already nervous about the “venom” offered by hotties Megan and Brandi C. The Entertainer is hoping things don’t work out for Heat and Destiney so he can move in. Heather plans to remove her Bret tattoo and is already gunning for 12 Pack. And poor Mr. Boston is hoping to abandon his blowup doll for good. This season promises to be about sex, drama, and oh yes, that money.

A better title may have been “I Love Being on TV.” No matter to those of us who like to watch the mess to be made.

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