What you said

Words I didn’t expect. Not for a long time. In my darkest moments, I think you could never say them to me. But you did.
My heart pounding like jungle drums when I heard the phone ring, even faster when I saw your name on the screen. Your voice. You worried about me and my getting rest. “You are my rest,” I said. Often, you are my refuge. You have been my paradise and my heaven, if only for a few days, several beautiful hours. So yes, I give you attention, fuzzy as my mind feels.
We talk about my pompous colleague, my dear departed friend. Then I say what I feel.
I usually don’t say it over the phone. “I miss you.” I can say that. “I can’t wait to see you.” I can say that. I keep my deepest feeling for you for my love letters and for the next time we are together. But that night, I say it. No sentimental prelude, no tears. Just a statement of fact.
You reply.
Did I dream it?

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