An auspicious beginning to Holy Week

Back in the day, the kids used to joke that if The DJ told me to jump, I’d say “how high” or “off which bridge.” There was a time when The DJ would speak and I would loyally do what he asked. For the longest time, this is a pattern in which I have actively participated: I have made all sorts of herculean efforts to maintain a friendship or relationship. Last night, I decided it was time to do for the one person I always take for granted: me. Rather than getting back out on the bridges across the Bay for the third time in 24 hours, in my car that belches smoke like an aging dragon, I decided to stay home and sleep.

The automatic thoughts, of course, tried to overwhelm me: He’s going to hate you. Now he’ll see you’re not such a good friend after all. No wonder you’re alone. No wonder Romance and Ambivalence have disappeared from your life.
But I know better. I am a wonderful friend. I go above and beyond for people all the time. I do it from the goodness of my heart. My true friends know that I am there for them. I have to take care of myself first and foremost.

A true friendship endures. But it also evolves. If my unwillingness to continue to be SuperWoman is seen as a sign of disloyalty, so be it. I can be my own best friend.

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