Therapy and its limitations

Group is going well. Yesterday we talked about thinking distortions and I discovered that what I thought was my trademark way of seeing the world was not unique to me. Not at all. Some of my ways of seeing myself and others are universal, not uncommon to people with similar emotional issues. Imagine my surprise and relief when the newest group member revealed that she has more of these types of thoughts than I do. It is comforting to know that the world, like me, sometimes sees through a very distorted lens.
Which brings me to a realization. While it is true I have a problem with depression, I also have a problem with anxiety and anger. First things first. I am recovering from my depression, slowly, of course, but I know it is happening. I am charting my moods and more and more I am able to control the downward spiral. But what to do about the nervous energy? The sudden bursts of aggression? Running again and building up my exercise regimen will certainly help. Cognitive behavior therapy exercises will curb some of the irrational thoughts that lead to the mood swings and occasional poor choices in action. Talking to my therapist will help put my emotions in perspective. “Feelings are not facts, ” our group facilitator reminds us. For so long, I’ve clung to the notion that I am ruled by my tempestuous heart. Every day, whether it’s through reading my workbooks or writing in my charts and journal, I see that I have allowed my twisted thoughts to rule and often ruin my relationships and quality of life. I have made a commitment to moving forward, to undo the damage I’ve done to myself and to avoid hurting those I love any further.
So much work to do…

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