A different sort of jump

“You bring out the Acapulco cliff diver in me…” Sandra Cisneros

Just a few weekends ago(or rather several weekends in a row), I was ready to throw 34 years of struggle and shine away in a pathetic leap of hopelessness. I would drive my car to the shoulder of a local bridge, walk out into the wind of the Bay, maybe say a prayer, and take the next step. But it didn’t happen and probably won’t. I’m too damn hard-headed and tender-hearted to give up on life. In any case, I’m still here. But I took a very different leap of faith the other day.

What inspires us to risk it all? To risk tears, pain, and possible humiliation? To put our truths on a plate as if they were St. Lucy’s eyes and present them to our beloved? What makes us jump into that wide ocean of the unknown, of the waiting, of the lovesick hope?

“Drowning in the sea of love, where everyone would love to drown…” Stevie Nicks

I jumped. I was shaky, even nauseous. But I did not hesitate.

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