As of Wednesday, June 8, 2005, I will be promoted to a new position. It is quite possible that on that same date, my “replacement” will be notified and subsequently announced. Said newcomer is a bilingual man of color and someone I have mentored. I should be bursting with pride.

I am not.

Call it sour grapes. Call it my continuing battle against class issues(the newcomer grew up upper middle-class and his dad bought him a car recently). Call it apprehension, given the fact that this person’s inability to wield his authority led to two near-disasters, one involving fireballs, the other little girl drama. Call it All About Eve rivalry; after all, Junior does his best to bond with my seniors, sometimes chumming with them in a potentially inappropriate manner. Call it disappointment in my other protege losing out on the job. Whatever it is, it isn’t going away.

Still, I am a helluva of an actress. I will smile, shake hands, nod. And secretly cringe.